Sleep is overrated

I am new to the blogging world and I have pretty low expectations as to who would even be interested in reading this. For some reason I am having trouble falling asleep tonight, so here goes.

I have found myself praying more in the last 2 months than I ever have before. My growth in the Lord has been slow but steady since middle school. Sure I've had seasons of ups and downs, but all in all, I have been growing. It is really kind of a neat thing because in highschool I would think "Wow, the Lord has taught me so much since middle school!" I said the same in college, and now the Lord is still drawing me in and teaching me more each day. I am so grateful for how he has blessed me. I heard Derek Webb talk at a show one day about how he has been a christian for 10 or 15 years and he needs Jesus now more than he ever has because of his awareness of the depths of his needs. That the more you grow as a Christian, and the more you learn about Jesus, the greater that you understand the depths of your need for Him. The same has been very true for me.

Most people that have been in my life in the last 4 or 5 years are aware that I listen to a pastor in the Dallas area named Matt Chandler. I have listened to a lot of his sermons through these years, many of them I've heard 3 and 4 times. For some reason God has used Chandler to teach and challenge me more than ever before. I've never met him, but I feel like he is one of my close friends. My entire way of thinking has been transformed by God, through the scriptures, and often through Chandler. He preaches line by line straight through books of the Bible. I have found this to be my favorite form of teaching. I have seen Chandler at a conference in Dallas, but other than that it has all been through podcasts. Praise the Lord for this technology. I know his history, his kids names, where his wife is from....all about him. On thanksgiving, he had a seizure in his home. He was taken to the hospital where they found a brain tumor. They operated on him quickly, but they weren't able to get it all. The tumor was found to be malignant and he is now doing radiation and chemo. The whole thing has moved me to tears on multiple occasions. In the midst of it all, he has held fast to the idea that in good times and bad, God is enough. He made a video for his congregation right in the middle of this ordeal telling them that even from a guy who could lose everything in an instant....He is enough.

This has haunted me. When am I unable to say those words when things are moderately annoying? Not even bad? This statement of He is enough has challenged me since Thanksgiving. I am most definitely in what I would call a time of prosperity. I am healthy, my wife is healthy, my dogs are even healthy. We more or less have everything we want. It is so easy to proclaim right now that He is enough, but I hope and pray that if the Lord takes any or all of this away from me, my words will not waiver.

On March 4, 2006, I married Emily. She has everything good that I lack, and she has blessed me beyond belief. I most definitely married up. We work great together. It is truly an opposites attract senario. This brings us back to prayer. I have prayed for her often and regularly for years now. A few months ago, my prayers increased. I now find myself praying for her a lot during the day, often when we wake up, and always after she falls asleep and I am still awake. I now pray for her and the life growing inside of her. She is 9 weeks pregnant and our baby is due September 1, 2010. I didn't think it was possible to love her more than I already did, but going to the doctor and seeing the heartbeat of our unborn child stirred my affections for my wife like never before. It also stirred my affections for Christ like never before. 8 weeks into the pregnancy and I can see a sonogram of my child's heart beating?!? This is nuts. I have found my faith increasing through this observation and experiencing of His creation.

I am so very thankful to all of my friends and family for prayers and encouragement. My goal is to update this as baby news progresses and as I am sure to have more nights of no sleep...pondering fatherhood, friendships, and the beautiful mysteries of God. If you made it this far, I am impressed!